Stay at Home or Working Mom

I recently read a great article in Oh Baby Magazine about the ongoing misconception the working Mom has of the stay at home Mom (SAHM) and vice versa. Julie M. Green's depiction of how each Mom portrays the other, really hit home for me.

She does an excellent job of describing a SAHM and working Mom's daily routine. She refers to the working Mom longing to trade her dress pants and heels in for the comfort of the yoga pants the SAHM wears. The SAHM longing to trade in her puke stained sweats for heels and a nice outfit.

I have days where I would love to be at work rather than breaking up fights between the twins, wiping snotty noses, doing laundry, preparing meals, etc. Days where I feel like one more stinky diaper, just may throw me over the edge. Truth is though, I can also sympathize with the working Mom too. I tear up at the thought of being at work, away from the Laura and Brady.

A neighbour of mine (a working Mom) tells me quite frequently how jealous she is that I get to stay in my pj's all day. Yes that's exactly what I do, loaf around in pj's all day, drinking coffee and relaxing. She tells me she would love to be a SAHM.

Interesting, considering this is the same Mom who tells me you couldn't pay her to have another child. The same Mom who drops her child off to daycare early because she can't handle his tantrums (he's at the terrible 2's stage). I'm curious how she would handle him all day, everyday. A SAHM doesn't have the luxury of dropping their children off for someone else do deal with the tantrums and tears for the day.

It's not easy for either type of Mom. I know a lot of working Mom's who would truly love to be a SAHM, but unfortunately don't have that option. I also know fellow stay at home Mom's who really long to be at work instead. It doesn't make the working Mom a bad employee or those stay at home Mom's bad mothers. Every person is different.

I welcome you to check out Julie M. Green's blog at


  1. I can SO relate to this. I've been a SAHM for only 8 mos and I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes it can really feel overwhelming and I find myself longing to go to work. My hubby and I have been discussing that lately but we decided that it's really best if I stay home for the meantime since we have a barely-two-month old baby, plus the fact that our helper just up and left and stole some stuff as well. So, most of the time it's just me and my 3 kids at home. I'm exhausted all day, everyday. If you think about it, SAHM's are working moms too. The difference is just that SAHMs like us don't get paid.

  2. Hi! I'm a new follower from the Sunday Strolling blog hop. I just realized, from your post, what SAHM means. I'm one of those, too. Have a good day!

  3. Great post. I was both a working Mom and SAHM and like everything else there are the pluses and minuses to each role. By far though a SAHM is the more difficult role for me.

  4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and I'm glad my article resonated with you.

    Obviously all moms have days in which the grass is greener elsewhere. The worst thing we can do, though, is assume that things are just peachy for others.

    Being a mom is always hard, no matter where you `work`.

  5. I'm not a mother, but have thought about what I might do when the time comes. Interesting read! :)

  6. Thanks for posting this article. I know that I am better off being a SAHM but that doesn't mean my day is easy. I hate it when people say they would love not to work like me. Really? I had three kids in 21 months, you think I don't work????

  7. Ha ha I have obviously been on Facebook too much lately. I was looking for the "LIKE" button. ;-D

  8. Great post. I love the well balanced perspective.

    I have been a SAHM off and on for 15 years. I love being home and never lack for things to do. I really feel for working moms and admire their abilities. When I did it I always felt pulled in too many directions.

    Great blog. (I'm a new follower)

  9. I was a stay at home mom and I also at times was a working mom. I worked just as hard either way but my children seemed more stable when I stayed at home and those are the memories I cherished most.
    I never judged others either. Some find more worth in following a career and I think that is great.
    I found you through the Follow Me Back Hop and I'm glad I visited and got to meet you.

  10. I totally agree with you. There is no easy answer. I was a working mom most of my girls lives and I hated being away from them. But I was at home for a short period of time and that had it's challenges too. You can only do what you can do.....make the best of both worlds.

    Thanks for joining the Tuesday Train! Hope to see you again soon!

  11. What a great post! I too am a stay at home mom. I quit my job at our local hospital when my daughter was born and I have my moments when I do wish I could go back to work. You're right, it's not EASIER for either side, and I appreciate this post so much!

    Just following you from WOB Wednesday! I'm so glad I found your blog!

  12. I try to be both. I am a SAHM but it sometimes drives me NUTS, so I try to do a little work outside of the house so I don't feel *worthless*. It's not just the work at home, it is just the lack of a true break EVER...even when you ARE having some alone time, there is always the threat of a baby crying, or a kiddo needing something...always...I think that is the absolute hardest least for me...

  13. That is too funny. The grass is always greener on the other side of any fence. Visiting from Mid-Week Mingle.
    How to add a Back to Top Button. 

  14. Hey there...working mom here :):)
    I am a working mom, 4 day a week. I always say that I am a part time paralegal but a full time mom!!! I run to work then run home, make dinner, clean and take care of the kiddo ;):) I do love being at home, don't mind the tantrums, but have to work to pay the bills ;) I think I did find a happy medium between working world and home world. But I sure am exhausted at the end of the day :)
    Visiting from a blog hop!
    Come see me too at

  15. I'm a working mom but my husband is a SAHD. There's no way I could do what he does! Totally respect all the work that goes into staying at home and raising 2 kiddos.

  16. It is so hard to find the balance between being a mother/parent and having a career. Each brings different levels of fulfillment and enjoyment.

    When I was working before my children I thought giving it up to stay home with kids was all I wanted. After having kids, being at home with them didn't live up to those expectations. It's exhausting and never ends. SAHMs are on the clock 24/7/365.

    The ideal for me has been to create an outlet for my creativity while being home with the kids. My blogging lets me connect with others and have intelligent conversations like this one while getting to take my kids out to play every day and watch them grow.

    Now I can realize the best of both worlds. Thanks for talking about this great topic.